


Raise Your Glasses

by Angel_of_Gryffindor



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Eddie Lives, Fix-It, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mild Swearing, Protective Bill, Reddie, Suicide Attempt, i'm a basic bitch for this clique, mild violence, self doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-06 01:03:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21217991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_of_Gryffindor/pseuds/Angel_of_Gryffindor
Summary: One year later Eddie wakes up with the Neibolt house once stood, completely healed and desperate to see Richie but things are always that straight forward. Meanwhile Richie had sacked his manager and written his own material as a way to deal with his year long grief.





	Raise Your Glasses

**Author's Note:**

> So, yeah, I am a complete basic bitch for fix-it fics for Reddie  
please enjoy my trash fic  
sorry its not in chapters even though it's a long fic  
let me know what you think, I love hearing from everyone :)

The first thing Eddie felt was the cold, "why am I so cold?" he thought, trying desperately to rack his ice muddled brain for memories or thoughts that would help, "the sewers! That's right, I'm in the sewers of Derry."

Even with the cold Eddie felt proud that he'd managed to come to that conclusion but then he couldn't remember exactly why he was in the cold, dark sewers of Derry, Maine, a place he hadn't thought about for over twenty years; forcing his brain to work he tried to push any memories to the front.

Suddenly images of smiling faces filled his mind, friends he'd reconnected with, going to places he'd forgotten existed, being suddenly stabbed by the old bully from school and collecting his token; he'd come back because of a promise, because of the killer, demonic clown.

Eddie suddenly remembered being in the sewers with Richie, his loud shirt and foul mouth vaguely comforting in such a scary situation, they'd faced the three doors together and then Eddie had stabbed the stupid clown, that had caught Richie in it's Deadlights, in the head.

"I killed it." Eddie remembered giddily, "I'd saved Richie and..." the happiness went instantly as he once again felt the seething, scraping pain through his chest; Pennywise had stabbed him.

Remembering the blood pouring from his mouth, it splatting across Richie's stunned face, before being hidden away from the clown while the Losers Club came up with a plan; even in his woozy state Eddie remembered making a joke at Richie, his friends far away voices shouting and finally Richie leaving his side.

Everything had gone blank after that, just dark and cold, there had been shaking too but Eddie thought he imagined all that.

Now that he'd pieced together what had happened, quite chillingly his own death, Eddie began to think where he was now, "am I still dead?"

Wiggling each finger and toe Eddie concluded that they were all there, if not a little stiff, he bent his knees and elbows, rolled his shoulders and placed his hands on his chest; feeling a strong beating heart.

He also felt the rip in his shirt where the claw had speared him, the fabric frayed and crispy with his blood; Eddie filled his lungs long and deep with the cool air around him before forcing his heavy eyes to open.

Sunlight. Actual sunlight was pouring into the sewers, it was beaming down the huge hole Eddie was currently lying in but it simply looked like a professionally dug out hole, not one from a caved in sewer.

Eddie groaned as he sat up and looked down at his body, he was absolutely filthy, covered in grey water and dried blood there wasn't an inch of him that wasn't dirty but he didn't feel the usual panic of being covered in germs.

The bravery he'd felt when he'd stabbed that clown had effected him slightly, Eddie felt different, his thoughts weren't the same anymore but he knew he had to get out of the hole.

Fishing into his pocket Eddie pulled out his phone to check the time and then hopefully call for help but the screen was blank, even cracked a little; the devise must have been dead for a long time as it didn't even buzz when Eddie held the button.

Eddie had never been good at climbing, having being banned from gym class as a child and being told that 'extensive physical exercise' was harmful by his wife as an adult, it took a lot more effort to dig hands and feet into the firm dirt but after a while he grabbed grass.

Out of the hole it was much warmer, maybe late spring, the sun was blinding and there was a soothing breeze, looking around Eddie noticed he was stood on the grass where the Neirbolt house had once stood but the eerie feeling was gone.

Out in the street were a couple of people, they'd paused to observe him with more curiosity than any adult had given during his childhood but nobody seemed to want to talk to the short, filth covered gentleman standing by the Neibolt hole.

"you okay there honey?" a woman in a short brown skirt and curly bangs.

Slowly making his way towards her and the young man she was with, dressed in a shirt and tie, Eddie tried to smile like he wasn't filthy and had just climbed out of a hole, "um, could you possibly tell me the date?" he asked his voice a little hoarse.

"why! It's the roaring twenties!" the young man bellowed loudly, swinging his arms in an old timey dance.

Eddie's eyes widened, "1920?" he gasped, had the sewer caving in thrown him back in town.

The woman slapped her companion lightly on the shoulder, an amused exasperated smile on her face, one Eddie used to give Richie, "no, it's 2020. Dom think's funny to keep pushing that meme."

The news that he'd been gone for about a year hit Eddie hard in the chest, he couldn't have been 'dead' for that long without side effects, and yet there he was, stood on the sidewalk in the sun, actually talking to actual people.

"I am hilarious!" the man, Dom, insisted.

"thank you for your help." Eddie said quickly and left the pair to it, mainly to avoid more questions as to his state of dress, "I need clothes and a shower." he decided but then the terribly thought that Myra had cut off his bank account.

Myra had insisted they shared a bank account, mainly so she could keep track of where he was and what he had been doing but if he had been gone or dead for so long there was a chance his wife had taken his money and run.

Eddie's wallet was crispy with dried sewer water but the bank card inside was intact, quickly using it he felt his heart thumping loudly, terrified he'd be stuck in Derry with nothing, however the amount that displayed on the screen was much larger than any money he'd ever seen.

"Myra cashed my life insurances." Eddie guessed, his wife had forced him to take out at least four life insurances so she must have been told of his 'death' and cashed everything in, and apparently had been spending like no tomorrow.

Holidays, nail salons, new clothes nearly everyday, meals out constantly, it appeared Myra was living the life of luxury in the year he'd been gone, "so much for a grieving widow." Eddie sighed, after all her crying and sternness about 'what if he died' had amounted to her living her best life.

Taking out $400 Eddie secretly hoped Myra would see the transaction and freak out a little; without looking anyone in the eye Eddie bought minty shower gel and some clean clothes, plus a toothbrush and toothpaste.

Going back to the inn that he'd stayed in with the other Losers everything felt different; the certain edge the town had before, like someone was always watching from behind a window but never knowing what they'd do, the feeling had gone and it felt like a normal town filled with normal people.

"I'd like a room please." Eddie said to the cheery middle aged lady at the reception desk.

"on you're own?" she asked eyeing his appearance, Eddie quickly nodded, "how many nights?"

Eddie faltered, he didn't want to stay in Derry for too long but he certainly didn't want to go home to Myra either, "I want to see Richie." his brain suddenly said, "just for the next few hours please."

The receptionist gave him a strange look, "it's not any cheaper." she said with a smile.

Eddie placed $80 onto the desk, "that's fine." he stated and held out his hand for the key.

Ironically the room Eddie had been given was the same one he'd been in the previous year, the bathroom had been fixed after Bower's attack, causing Eddie to gently touch his face, the dirty gauze was still covering the now healed wound.

Before getting into the shower Eddie called for a taxi to take him out of Derry, he'd decided that he did actually have to go home to collect anything Myra hadn't throw away, plus to give back his ring and inform her of the divorce he wanted.

Using the entire bottle of shower gel and most of the tube of toothpaste it took Eddie an hour to feel clean again, he kept touching where the claw had stabbed him, unused to the smooth skin that was now there.

"where to?" the taxi driver asked and Eddie gave him his home address, the driver raised an eyebrow, "y'all got enough money?"

Eddie casually handed him the rest of the money he had left over, "if you need anymore I'll get you it when we get there." he said firmly.

Sitting in the back Eddie had a long time to think, he wasn't keen on talking to the taxi driver, he wondered what the Losers Club had been up to in the year he'd been gone; luckily Eddie had remembered to pick up a phone charger so he opened Twitter.

It turned out Bill had dropped out of the film he'd been writing for and had started a new story, one about his childhood; from what he could find from Beverly's account she and Ben had got together and were living a wonderful, love filled life; Mike's account was filled with photos and posts from places all around America.

Eddie took a lot longer to check on Richie, part of him was worried what the trashmouth had been up to, in the back of his brain Eddie could hear words that he couldn't remember Richie saying.

Richie's Twitter had been quiet for a long time after returning from Derry, before he began to post articles questioning where the comedian had gone, who his attractive new friends were and that he was suddenly writing a new show, finally using his own material.

"you ever heard of Richie Tozier?" Eddie asked nearly two hours later.

The taxi driver seemed surprised that Eddie now wanted to talk, "um, yeah. Not a fan, his stuff is kind of same old." the driver shrugged, "he's got a new show in New York though, sacked his manager and came out."

"came out?" Eddie blurted out.

"yeah, he got asked in an interview if he'd ever been in love with any of his past girlfriends, the ones he mentions in his shows. Said he only ever loved one person and he was dead." the taxi driver left a pause thinking Eddie would say something else but his brain had stopped, the driver cleared his throat, "he posted a photo confirming he was gay."

Eddie immediately began scrolling though the Twitter feed, going past photos of the Losers on dinners out and Richie's stupid selfies before finally coming across a photo of the kissing bridge; the in the old wood was 'R + E' and a caption:

Today I buried the memory of my friend, my first & only love

The tweet after was a photo of Richie wrapped in a rainbow flag, Bill and Beverly either side of him, flipping off the camera; it had thousands of retweets and comments, Richie had answered most of them except who he had loved.

Eddie felt his eyes tear up, his bottom lip quivering, he remembered his childhood with Richie, how close they had been and the feeling the taller boy had always given him; the moments in the sewers, where Richie had only let go of Eddie's dying body when their friends desperately needed him.

"is the show sold out?" Eddie asked with a thick voice.

"can't tell you, sorry." the taxi driver was now very uncomfortable now Eddie had practically cried.

Instantly searching for the tickets Eddie discovered every single show had sold out, due to the excitement that Richie Tozier had written his own material, but some people were selling them so Eddie immediately bought one, not even bothering to look at the price.

Excitement warmed Eddie's stomach, he was going to see Richie and maybe his other friends, he was on such a high that even when the driver pulled into Eddie's driveway he couldn't seem to care.

Myra had bought a new car, he decided to take that instead of paying for another taxi, the front door was unlocked and the house interior was hideous; before Eddie had had some say in how the house was decorated, he liked it soothing and plain, but now it was like a florists had exploded with gaudy mirrors everywhere.

"who's there?" Myra's loud, thick voice came thundering through the house and seconds later she appeared in the doorway; she'd been spray tanned and her nails looked like weapons, she'd also gained several pounds, she gasped dramatically, "Eddie!"

A slight panic shot through Eddie but he squashed it away, "I'm just getting my stuff." he managed to say and bounded up the stairs two at a time.

"Eddie! Eddie!" Myra screeched after him, her footfalls much heavier, "where have you been? I thought you were dead!"

The bedroom was the worst room in the house, any mention of Eddie had been erased and replaced with more gaudiness, with a little effort he managed to pull down the attic ladder, "is that why you cashed all my life insurances?" he snapped back, "did you remember to hold my funeral first?"

"Edward!" Myra gasped, he'd never spoken to her in such a way but he felt good doing it.

In the dusty attic Eddie found all his stuff, just dumped up there with labelled reading 'STUFF', pulling out various clothes and documents he continued to ignore Myra's ranting; it appeared she was blaming Eddie for something.

Eddie bumped the suitcase down the steps, he grabbed the new car keys before turning to Myra, "you'll hear from my lawyer soon." he said as he handed back his wedding ring.

Gaping at him Myra went very red in the face very quickly, "what do you mean? You leave me alone for a year and then you come back? And why would I hear from your lawyer?" she rambled.

"for the divorce." Eddie told her bluntly, "I've been through a lot, so bye." and he left the house, jumping into the car quickly.

Booking into a hotel that was near where Richie would be performing, Eddie couldn't wait for that night; he'd met the person he'd bought the ticket from outside the hotel and had to stop himself from hugging the stranger tightly.

The show was called 'Raise Your Glasses' with a picture of Richie's thick childhood glasses, it had been heavily advertised that Richie had finally been inspired to ditch his manager and write his own stuff.

Night finally came, outside the theatre was packed with people, some wearing fake glasses to match Richie's but on their way in everyone was handed a pair anyway; Eddie held them up to the lights and saw there were images in the frames.

On one side was a bird, the other side was an inhaler; Eddie felt tears in his eyes again as he realised that the show might well be dedicated to Stan and himself.

Eddie's seat was quiet a long way in the back but he could still see the stage; upon the stage was a fake kissing bridge, arcade and a huge pair of Richie's thick glasses, the images glinting whenever the bright lights passed over them.

After what seemed like hours the lights dimmed, spotlights falling onto the microphone in the middle of the stage, "everyone give a loud, warm welcome to Richie Tozier. New and improved."

Eddie practically stood get a better look at Richie, sure he'd scrolled through the comedian's twitter and seen all the photos, it was different seeing him in person; Richie had lost some weight, his dark hair had grown out too but he'd remembered to shave and instead of his usual suit that he used to wear to shows he was wearing a terribly loud Hawaiian shirt.

There was strong pull of nostalgia in Eddie's chest seeing his closest friend up on the stage with his broad, easy grin.

Everyone clapped, obviously having missed the comedian, Richie smiled basking in the applause before speaking into the microphone, "I can't believe you guys paid to be here." he laughed throatily, "you know there's no security on the back door, but you know, I got your money now!" some people laughed.

Richie's face got a little bit serious, he rubbed his forehead, "so, um, as you probably saw online it's been a weird year. I've reconnected with old friends," he gestured to the front row were Bill, Ben, Beverly and Mike were all sitting, "defeated old demons and, um, lost someone dear." there was a sombre tone around the theatre, "this is going to be a different kind of show, they'll be jokes I promise so please hold your demands for refunds for when you actually heard my jokes but I will be a little more serious too."

With the introduction out of the way Richie stated the show, immediately divulging into his childhood, a childhood Eddie remembered being in, he told the audience all about his group of friends, the mental bully Henry Bowers and other slightly twisted truths; he managed to leave out the alien clown, referring to it as a 'personal demon' that plagued him.

Several times Eddie had to stop himself laughing too loud but he couldn't refrain like he did when he was younger, Richie's jokes were genuinely funny, his timings and patter were great; the times he did give a snort of laughter Eddie felt a warm feeling spread across his chest.

"so, as you all know, I came out as gay last year." Richie said and was met by loud 'whoops' and applause again, he smiled warmly, waiting patiently for them to calm down, "see if I'd know that would be the reaction I would have got then I would have come out the summer I was thirteen." he gave a self conscious laugh.

For the next hour Richie made weird, slightly distasteful jokes about being gay in a small red-neck town that weren't as self hating as expected; after Richie began telling them about the clubhouse and going into the haunted Neibolt house before the lights became softer, a spot light landing on the lenses of the background glasses.

"I told you at the beginning that I was going to be a bit more serious and now the time has come." Richie took a deep breath, "last summer I lost two very dear friends, one was to suicide and the other to murder." there was a terrible hush, "for a long time I didn't know how to commemorate them; Stan had already been buried before I got back from Derry and there was no body for Eddie."

Eddie's heart clenched at the mention of his name and listened intently what else the now slightly teary eyes Richie had to say, "so, I thought what would they hate the most? My comedy." there was a ripple of laughter.

"people keep asking who the boy I always loved was, the one I tweeted about." behind Richie a projected image of the kissing bridge carving appeared, "and it was the friend I never got say a proper goodbye to, his wife buried an empty coffin without us and erased him from her life. The Losers Club held our own funeral for both of them but it didn't feel final and it made me realise I didn't want to say goodbye."

"the year I turned thirteen and fought my inner demons it made me realise that I was gay, in a shit-ass backward town, and that I loved Eddie. I wanted to write this show because I wanted to share my dearest friends with you all because I refuse to let them be forgotten, again."

Eddie knew what he meant, before when the Losers Club had left Derry they'd forgotten everything until they received the call from Mike; he felt tears well in his eyes as he looked upon the comedian's softened face.

"If you'd raise your glasses with me." Richie took a pair of real glasses from a headset wearing assistant, the glasses were cracked, it was the pair he'd been wearing in the sewer, he raised them above his head and the audience followed.

With a shaking hand Eddie did too, he was toasting himself, his own death, a memory to himself but he'd do it for Richie, "to Stan the Man and Eddie Spaghetti." Richie said.

The audience repeated it, a few giggles at the nicknames, but it was heartfelt and Richie was beaming as he gave one final distasteful joke before saying goodbye.

Everyone in the theatre clapped for ages, Eddie joined in till his hands were burning, before people began to file out; at the back door people began to line up to meet Richie as he left the theatre, there was even some paparazzi.

Eddie hung back, not wanting to get bumped about in the crowd but it worked against his advantage being short and in the back; after twenty minuets a body guard appeared, "sorry Richie isn't meeting anyone tonight, but he invites you all back next month for a free meet and greet." he told them and people cheered, leaving shortly after.

Waiting for the crowd to completely disappear Eddie rushed to the back door before the bodyguard closed it, "excuse me!"

"come back next month." the bodyguard waved Eddie away but he wouldn't back down now.

"no, you don't understand, I need to see Richie." Eddie said but saw the bodyguard roll his eyes, obviously used to obsessive fans but that wasn't what Eddie was, "just tell him Eddie is here."

The bodyguard now looked very angry, "don't pull that shit, bit of a sick joke." he snapped.

"please, can you just tell him." Eddie begged, "he needs to know."

"is everyone not gone?" came another voice.

Bill squeezed out of the back door, wearing an awful Hawaiian shirt too, and paused in shock at the sight of Eddie, "Bill! Oh, it's so good to see you, can you go in and get Richie?" Eddie begged, happy to see his stuttering leader again.

But Bill didn't seem happy, his light eyes flickering all over Eddie's body, looking for damage, "give us a moment." Bill said to the bodyguard and then they were alone, Bill's face twisted a little, "I don't know what the f-fuck you are but I'm not letting you near Richie." he snarled.

Eddie stepped back slightly, shocked by Bill's tone, "what do you mean? It's me, Eddie, I can't explain how but I'm here." he tried to smile but Bill's face was unwavering.

"you're not real, you're not." Bill snapped, "Eddie died, we all saw it."

"yes! Pennywise stabbed me!" Eddie exclaimed, hoping the mention of the clown would prove who he was, it had the opposite effect.

Bill shoved Eddie backwards, nearly sending him sprawling on the ground, "stay away from Richie, from all of us. You can't be real."

"stop saying that! We went to the Neibolt house to defeat..." Eddie tried to explain but this time Bill punched him square in the face, sending him to the floor.

"you are nothing but a manifestation of something left over from Derry, I am not letting you near any of us." Bill snarled and slammed the door so loud it shivered and echoed across the car park.

With blood pouring out his nose Eddie picked himself off the floor, shuffling back to his car Eddie realised that there were only a few cars left in the car park, one he recognised at Richie's and it was parked so close to his own.

Sitting on the cold concrete Eddie shoved tissue up his bleeding nose, wiped his eyes and waited for Richie to come to his car; at some point Eddie fell asleep, still sat on the floor and was woken by being kicked.

It was morning, the early air was cold but refreshing, Bill was standing over him with a tired face full of fury, "I told you to leave." he snapped.

Eddie quickly jumped to his feet, steadying himself on his car as both his legs and butt had fallen asleep, "but I want to see Richie. It's really me Bill, I promise, I've never lied to you." he could feel tears springing to his eyes, making his voice quiver.

"I know Eddie would have never lied to me but you aren't Eddie." Bill shoved his finger roughly into Eddie's chest and Eddie had never felt so betrayed.

Now he had feeling back in his legs Eddie ran around the back of the cars, sprinting for the back door that was opening again, unfortunately Bill had longer legs and caught him quickly; slamming hard to the ground Eddie felt the stinging on his palms and he managed to whack his nose again.

"Bill! What are you doing?" Beverly was rushing towards them.

Throwing Bill off Eddie scrambled back to his feet and approached Beverly, her face morphing from tearful to confused, "Bevvy! Please, it's really me." Eddie begged viciously wiping away the blood trickling from his nose.

Bill wrapped his arms around Eddie's waist, lifting him away, ignoring Eddie's shouts, "Bill, it's Eddie! What are you doing?" Beverly chased after them.

"no it's not. It can't be, think about it." Bill said viciously, "it's a fake."

"I'm not! I'm not!" Eddie repeated as he was dumped by his car again, he stumbled a little, having to grab his car for support, "I'm really here."

Bill and Beverly's faces told different stories, Bill was angry and Beverly wanted to believe, "you can't really be here, there's no possible way." Bill accused again.

"I can't explain it, I woke up in the Neibolt hole." Eddie explained everything he knew, which wasn't much, "Bevvy please, you got to believe me!" 

To his horror Beverly shook her head, "I can't. Please stay away." she whispered.

The pair left Eddie alone in the car park, going back inside to tell the others not to go out there since there was still a manic fan outside; slowly Eddie climbed into his car and burst into noisy tears.

Eddie felt betrayed, his own friends didn't believe he was alive, even with the knowledge that there had been an alien, demonic, child eating clown they simply couldn't believe that Eddie had come back; he'd got the courage to leave his wife but he hadn't been able to see Richie.

Going back to the hotel Eddie laid face down on the bed, letting his blood stain the sheets, he'd pay a little extra for their trouble, he was trying to figure out how he could see any of the Losers without being pushed away. 

By night time Eddie still hadn't come up with any ideas and he was even beginning to doubt himself; was he actually real? Did he only believe he was real because the fake brain that had been created for him told him that.

"don't be stupid." Eddie snapped at himself as he hauled himself out of the hotel room and into his car to drive aimlessly; the streets were busy with night-life, people going out with friends for drinks and people coming back from shows.

At that moment The Losers Club were probably in a club or restaurant celebrating Richie's second show, toasting dead friends and making plans, plans that would never involve Eddie again.

Eddie thought about the many photos on Richie's twitter, the photos of the Losers Club hanging out in restaurants, in parks and trips to the beach; the paparazzi were constantly on his back whenever Richie was hanging out with his male friends, making up stories.

If only he'd been able to get into the backstage of the theatre, Richie would have believed him, hugged Eddie tight and by now they all would have been sat in a restaurant eating, laughing and connecting.

More tears sprang to Eddie's eyes; their fearless leader had rejected him, Bill always had their best interests at heart and keeping Eddie as far away as possible was apparently the best option.

Eddie had no idea what he was going to do now, he couldn't go back to Myra, he'd rather climb back into that hole then live with her again; he couldn't exactly ask to crash on Bill or Ben's couches. He was alone.

Parking by the small beach Eddie took long deep breaths of the salty air, trying to get his thoughts in order but the thought that he really was just a fake version of himself kept slamming itself to the front of his brain; after a while Eddie climbed out of the car and onto the cold sand of the beach.

There was nobody on the beach, there had been during the day and they'd left trash, but at that moment it was just Eddie, the moon and the soothing waves of the sea; as a child Eddie hadn't been allowed on the beach, his mother had been too scared of him drowning or standing on something sharp.

With defiance he took his shoes and socks off, leaving them on the sand before wading into the icy water, his jeans immediately becoming soaked but it felt refreshing, especially after the last time he'd been in water it had been grey sewer water.

Eddie sighed and before he knew it he was waist deep in the sea, the sand had changed to stones and seaweed, he felt something swim passed his feet several times but he couldn't care.

There was no way he could think how to see his friends, to see Richie, they didn't believe he was real and Eddie had begun to believe it himself; he'd felt so different since waking up there was no way he was the same person who went down into that Derry sewer.

"hey! You alright out there?" at first Eddie thought he was imagining Richie's voice, the water was now lapping under his armpits, "you're meant to take your clothes off to go skinny dipping!"

Eddie paused, only swaying with the motion of the waves, but he couldn't bring himself to turn around; Richie was so close but Eddie wasn't allowed near, both Bill and Beverly had made that clear, not to mention that if he wasn't the real Eddie it would only hurt the comedian even more.  
"hey!" Richie shouted again.  
"what's up Rich?" Ben was there too and it spurred Eddie further into the water.  
Eddie only managed to take a few more unsteady steps before a current swept him under; the coldness hit him hard in the face, any air was stolen from his lungs and they immediately began to burn; if he was a fake Eddie certainly didn't feel it at that moment.

It was dark under the water, the light of the moon just visible as Eddie was pushed around the the underwater currents, he grasped at nothing with numb fingers and had to force himself not to fight.

Just as things were beginning to go blank, a sweet relief of a fake life, Eddie felt himself being dragged upwards, back into to salty air; his burning lungs were instantly filled with the soothing air but he didn't want that.

Eddie jerked violently in the arms currently holding him above the water and was dropped instantly, his back bumped gently onto the seabed before he was unwillingly pulled back out and flung over a very muscular shoulder.

"careful Ben, he might had swallowed a lot of water!" Beverly shouted from the sands.

Trying to get out of Ben's firm grip was difficult, he did hack up a little bit of water but Eddie felt like he was going to be sick as Ben placed him onto the sands; instantly curling into himself Eddie tried not to show his face, it'd be too painful for all of them.

"should we call an ambulance?" Richie asked crouching down to Eddie's level, "you okay?" he was reaching out and as much as Eddie wanted to lean into his warmth he made himself move away.

Peeking through his arms Eddie made eye contact with Bill, his concerned face instantly changing to a serious one, he stood up straight, "he seems fine, we should go." Bill said firmly.

"you're kidding aren't you?" Richie hissed, "he's obviously distressed."

Eddie wished they'd all go away, any moment the Losers Club would start arguing because Bill knew something they all didn't but he wouldn't say because it would hurt them; he peeked through his arms again, to see how far the sea was but Ben had taken him too far away to make a run for it.

"then call an ambulance and lets go." Bill said urgently.

Richie moved from beside him, standing tall against their old group leader, "what's got into you Bill? You've been weird since last night." he continued to rant at Bill.

The Losers Club were arguing in their bare feet on the freezing cold sand so Eddie took the distraction to scramble to his feet towards his car; his lungs felt like they were going to explode, windpipe unbearably tight he was desperate for his inhaler but he didn't have it any more.

"wait!" Suddenly Richie had grabbed his hand, always paying attention when he shouldn't have been, and spun Eddie to face him; it was like being stabbed again, Richie's mouth fell open, the grip on his hand tightened and tears sprang to his eyes, "Eds?"

Bill was there too, he grabbed Richie by his upper arms from behind, "Richie, it's not. It's not real, I promise that." he repeated breathlessly.

Eddie felt his airways clear a little as the heat from Richie's hand seeped into his own freezing one but it was wrong, Bill was right, this version of Eddie might not be real, it seemed however that Richie wasn't willing to believe that.

"Eddie." Richie said his name so lovingly, "Eddie you're here." the tears overflowed as he pressed a large hand firmly on Eddie's chest, feeling his beating heart, "you're really here, you didn't die." he sounded so happy it caused Eddie to smile too.

"Rich.." Eddie trailed off, unable to hold back any more, real or not he wanted Richie close; he smelt like a bar and the sands, with a hint of sweat; a small part of him felt a little smug that Richie had accepted his return so easily.

Richie's grip was tight, hands shaking as he was terrified to let go, "..shouldn't have left you down there. How did you get out?" he finally pulled back but cupped Eddie's chilled face.

Going to answer Eddie was cut off by an angry Bill, "it's just a left over memory Richie, it's not really Eddie." he'd grabbed Richie's arm again but the comedian wasn't moving.

Richie gently rubbed Eddie's palm, where their promise cut had once been, he hadn't even realised that it had healed over, Richie's thumb grazing over pruned skin and the small scabs from his fall that morning, "you're really here, aren't you Eds?" he asked softly.

Before Eddie would have answered immediately that he was but Bill's words had burrowed their way so deep down and now he wasn't too sure, "I wanted to see you." he said instead because if he wasn't real he could give Richie this chance to say a proper goodbye.

"think about this Richie." Beverly said softly but sternly.

Instead of listening Richie lent in close to Eddie's face, Eddie could see himself reflected in those stupidly thick glasses, "did you really die?" he whispered.

"I think I did but I'm not anymore. I can't explain it." Eddie whispered back, feeling frustrated, "I woke up in that Neibolt hole a day ago, I've barely slept and I don't know if I've eaten but I knew I had to see you trashmouth."

Richie's hand was still pressed firmly to Eddie's chest, just feeling the rhythmic beating of his heart, "let's get somewhere warm." Richie said wrapping an arm around him and turned back to the Losers.

"it's not real!" Bill still insisted, "it wasn't last night and it's not real now! Why are you falling for it?" he was becoming hysterical because he'd fallen for the fake figure of his brother for so many years he couldn't allow that to happen to his friends.

"what do you mean last night?" Richie asked slowly, pulling Eddie flushed against his body.

"I came to see your show dumbass, it was good." Eddie muttered and the grip around him tightened.

"what did you do Bill?" Richie's voice was low and unhappy.

Bill frowned, "I'm trying to keep you safe!" he gestured wildly, "it's just a hallucination created by IT!" poor Bill was becoming increasingly hysterical.

"IT's fucking dead! We destroyed it." Richie shouted, "you were there remember?"

"I was also there when Eddie died." Bill shot back, he refused to look at Eddie.

"nothing really dies in Derry." Beverly suddenly said softly, gripping Ben's hand tightly in her own as they all turned to her, "that's what Mrs Kersh said." she seemed to realise her own words, "oh Eddie, I'm so sorry!" 

Beverly flung herself at the soaking Eddie, hugging him awkwardly because Richie still had his arm around his shoulders, she apologised over and over, that she'd been scared but Eddie smiled, patting her back.

Looking over Beverly's shoulder Eddie could see Mike whispering something hastily to Bill, who looked like he was inwardly fighting with himself; untangling himself from his friends Eddie approached him, a brave thing to do since last time he'd been punched.

"Bill? Don't be mad, we've all been scared." Eddie whispered and before he could think Bill threw himself at Eddie, hugging him tightly, it hurt slightly but the relief was overwhelming.

For all the years Bill had been plagued by the vision of Georgie he'd never tried to touch because he knew that if he did then he'd feel the cold, undead body, it would have confirmed that his brother was dead; but as he stood there hugging the warm Eddie, feeling the thump of his heart against his own Bill's mind soothed.

"I'm sorry." Bill whispered.

Eddie pulled back, tapping their group leader gently on the cheek, "forgiven." he said before turning back to Richie, "I'm fucking starving!" and his stomach made the most ungraceful noise.

Slipping his arm around Eddie's shoulder again Richie laughed loudly, "well we've already eaten so I'll just take you back to mind, you guys cool with that, okay awesome." Richie spoke so quickly and didn't wait for any of them to answer before sweeping Eddie away.

"Richie, wait." Eddie said once they got to his car, Richie's was nowhere in sight, "are you seriously abandoning them right now?"

In a sudden movement Richie let go of Eddie but seconds later had slammed both hands either side on Eddie's head against the car, preventing escape; the moonlight was reflecting off Richie's thick glasses but Eddie felt the blush burn his face at the situation.

"for this past year I have grieved you." Richie's voice was low, raspy, he moved one hand to place it on Eddie's cheek, "I used to lie awake at night worried I'd wake in the morning and forgotten you again. I'm going to take every opportunity to be alone with you."

"Richie." Eddie said softly and was about to say more when a flash went off, illuminating the shadows; there stood a non-descriptive man with a professional camera and Dictaphone.

The comedian sighed deeply before putting on a forced smile, "lovely night for taking unsolicited photos isn't?" Richie had moved so slightly cover Eddie.

The paparazzi gave a nervous smile, "can I ask a few questions?" his voice was reedy, "are all those stories in your show true? Did you ever actually confess? Are you really only just friends with Bill Danbrough?" the guy barely took a breath between his questions.

"are you fucking kidding me?" Eddie hissed glaring at the paparazzi, "come on Richie, our room awaits." he said the last bit louder for the guy to hear and then pulled Richie inside his car.

Eddie's hands were shaking while they sat in the dark of the car, until Richie began to laugh throatily, "our room huh?" he teased, "bit forward Eds."

It was Eddie's turn to laugh, "it's been 28 years!"

"30." Richie immediately corrected, "I've been in love with you for 30 years."

Eddie's stomach clenched slightly, hunger forgotten, hands still shaking, whole body shaking with the cold, "I can't even with you." he said without bite and started the car.

The hot air blew out loudly as Eddie backed out, nearly hitting the paparazzi as he did so, and began driving a little aimlessly, he had expected to go back to his hotel room but then it thought that really might be too forward; he also had no idea where Richie lived or was staying.

"you really came to my show." Richie broke the silence, he pointed at the stamp on the back of Eddie's hand, it hadn't washed off in the sea.

Eddie relaxed a little, he chuckled at the memory of some of the jokes, "of course I did. I told you, I had to see you."

Richie dropped his head into his hands with an dramatic groan, "you heard all the sappy stuff too."

"I did." Eddie said softly, finally pulling into the hotel parking lot; he could hear Richie groaning softly next to him, obviously embarrassed by his own words but Eddie had liked those words so he unbuckled, lent over and took Richie's face in his still cold hands.

Kissing Richie was different, warm and familiar, Eddie berated himself for not kissing him sooner, preferably when they were kids, before they left Derry, and he couldn't press himself close enough.

"shit, Eds calm down." Richie giggled as Eddie clumsily climbed out of his seat and into Richie's lap, kissing him again.

"30, fucking, years." Eddie bit out between kisses.

Eddie's mind had gone a little hazy, any coldness from his awful trip into the sea was replaced by Richie's warmth, it was intoxicating like it was taking over every fibre of Eddie's being and although he knew he had to let poor Richie breath but he couldn't seem to stop himself.

With a tiny push Richie managed to gulp down air and prevent Eddie from diving back in, "Eds, as much as I am enjoying this." he laughed lightly and did kiss Eddie lightly before continuing, "we should actually take this up to your room, the paparazzi follow me quite a lot now."

Eddie didn't want to stop, even if the position wasn't the most comfortable, but he knew Richie was right; it was bad enough they'd been caught in the such a position earlier outside the car, "okay, guess you're right." he muttered.

Laughing Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie's waist tightly, pulling them awkwardly flush together and kissing him gently, "dam right I am." he joked.

Shuffling quickly past the reception the pair giggled like teenagers again as they rode the elevator up, holding hands tightly and trying to avoid kissing again.

"Eds, Eddie." Richie was laid flat on the bed, Eddie on top halfway through unbuttoning the bright shirt, "I know this probably isn't the time.."

"no shit." Eddie gasped and continued to attack the offending buttons; Eddie had never thought of himself as sexually repressed, he's managed to sleep with Myra just fine, those couple of times, but just the thought of being skin on skin with Richie was almost too much to bear.

"yeah Eds I know." Richie kissed him and tried to slow the unbuttoning, "but I've got to know.."

"that I love you too, of course I do trashmouth." Eddie cut across again, loving how the words rolled from his tongue so easily and couldn't stop himself kissing him deeply.

When they parted Richie smiled up at him warmly, "that's great to know, you have no idea, but you've got let me finish." Richie laughed lightly and allowed Eddie to continue to undress him, "I've got to know, are you still married? To Myra."

Finally Eddie stopped, still desperate to become undressed, but maybe he should explain, "I'm getting a divorce, gave my ring back, seeing a lawyer soon." he explained breathlessly.

"but, don't you still love her?" Richie seemed intent on ruining the moment so Eddie hit him lightly on the chest.

"are you fucking kidding me right now trashmouth? I confess my love and we're about to do more than kissing, and you're asking if I love her?" Eddie ranted, cutting Richie off before he could say anything else dumb, "of course I don't love her! I love you, you complete and utter moron." and he kissed Richie lovingly.

When Eddie woke up in the morning he realised how hungry and tired he must have been; it was nearly midday when he finally opened his eyes and on a trolley was a huge layout of food, pancakes, sandwiches, cakes and a huge pot of coffee.

"morning Eds." Richie had been sitting by the window, sipping coffee and checking his phone, his slightly stubble face lit up when he noticed Eddie waking up.

"only just." Eddie yawned before snuggling back onto the pillows, "I'm starving." he muttered.

Richie laughed, flopping down onto the bed, "I know, you're stomach was shouting at me all night." his fingers glanced over healed over skin on Eddie's bare chest, "need help standing up?" Richie waggled his eyebrows.

Flushing deeply at the memory of their actions last night Eddie sat up only to feel a twinge at the base of his back, "I'm perfectly capable." he insisted but his legs were a little shaking as he stood.

For the smallest of moments Eddie thought about not eating some of the food, his food intolerance as extensive as they were, but it took only the slightest of nudges from a still smiling Richie for Eddie to devour nearly the whole trolley; it pleased him to see that he didn't come out in rashes or swelling.

"have you got a show tonight?" Eddie asked.

Richie suddenly looked a bit awkward, "I'm meant to but..."

"but what? Are you worried about your jokes, cos they're good. Really! And your toast to Stan and me is great too." Eddie gushed a little and Richie pressed a kiss on his forehead.

"thanks Eddie but that's part of the problem." Richie sighed softly, "my show is for you and Stanley, to remember you both but you're not dead anymore Eds."

"oh." Eddie breathed, feeling a little guilty for no reason, "I'm sorry." he said mindlessly.

Richie slammed his coffee cup down and scooped Eddie up from his chair, ignoring the violent swear word falling from Eddie's lips, and dropped him onto the bed, covering him with his own larger body, "what are you apologising for? For being alive cos I'll kill you if you even have that thought again." he growled.

Blushing Eddie tried to level his thoughts, the comedian looked so serious, "but, but your show."

"I was going to cancel but I can't do that to Stan." Richie mindlessly played with some of Eddie's hair, "guess I'll just have to tweak it a bit." he mumbled.

Eddie slipped a hand behind Richie's neck, pulling him gently down for a kiss, "that's going to confuse a lot of people." he laughed lightly.

Richie's face lit up at the thought of purposefully confusing a lot of people, "cracking idea!" he laughed and kissed Eddie again, hands wandering, "oh, I need to call my photographer!" Richie exclaimed and climbed off to get his phone.

"what for?" Eddie huffed.

"well, now that we're together then I'd rather explain the situation myself then have some dumbass with a camera and some poorly written questions." Richie rambled scrolling through his phone numbers, "you can write ours, you're better at that stuff. Ah, we'll need to make some excuse as to where you were this past year...."

Richie continued to ramble for the next five minuets, talking about where he was going to change stuff in the show, tapping out messages left and right, answering his own questions and generally rushing about like he had a fire cracker up his arse.

In truth Eddie had stopped listening the moment he'd said "now that we're together", he was enchanted by the very idea of being with the trashmouth for the rest of his life, arguing and supporting each other, made his heart race; when Myra had proclaimed that they were going to be together forever Eddie had felt sick and hand to take a pill.

"...are you okay Eddie Spaghetti? You're being weirdly quiet." Richie finally zoned back in, throwing his phone onto the bed and approaching Eddie.

"I love you." Eddie blurted out.

Richie's face lit up, the corners of his eyes crinkling lovingly, "I love you too." he studied Eddie for a moment, "you sure you're okay?"

Eddie took a long, deep breath; it certainly had been a strange couple of days, from waking up in the Neibolt hole, to leaving Myra, seeing Richie's show, fighting with the Losers, nearly drowning himself and finally getting with Richie, it felt surreal.

But the look on Richie's face, the way he made Eddie's heart thump happily, like it did when they were kids, reassured Eddie that it had all really happened, "yeah, I'm okay now." he said softly, leaning over to kiss Richie.


End file.
